Less than meets the eye

You guys, Los Angeles is getting so hot, transformers are exploding all over the place and causing rolling blackouts to sweep across the city. Eric and I have just abandoned the dread ovens of the House of Rogge to scarf pizza around Dan's air-conditioner, and this stuff has gotten me munching over several important issues:

1) The Los Angeles region is actually uninhabitable

2) I regularly walk through heat that causes reliable machinery to explode

3) This happens annually, when it should never happen at all

4) Our society is one blackout, four horsemen, and seven days from total anarchy

5) I feel cheated when blackouts happen during the day

I mean, this is actually terrifying. It's so hot here, it limits where the human body is allowed to be. You just can't have rolling blackouts here. As Eric pointed out, this is why old people die in their homes.

On another note, I feel like we too often use the word "transformer" to describe the device on telephone poles that converts raw electrical power into a high-voltage, low-current form for use in our homes. This is ignorant. I want to take that word back. I want to make it OUR word. It becomes so tedious when I'm telling all my friends, "hey, check out my car. Nay, check out my robot. Nay, check out my car," all the while not moving my eyes. I am a lazy bastard and wish we could all respect that my eyes are precious jewels. As it stands, it's more accurate to call Dan's cats "transformers," as they convert feline saliva into a high-voltage, high-current dander that powers my sneezes. Interestingly, they have not yet exploded in the heat.

YOU, SIR, TRANSFORM ME INTO PUFFY DESPAIR

Also, here's a youtube clip that shows exactly what happens to a transformer when everything goes wrong with it. Be sure to read the video's description for an odd sort of thrill.